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Getting to Yes: Separate the People from the Problem

The first tenet of what Fisher & Ury call “The Method” is to separate the people from the problem. Although I think I understood their point when I first read the book, over time what stuck with me was the title not the underlying principal. As an advocate and mediator dealing primarily with business disputes, it is tempting to try and simplify the negotiation by trying to convince the parties that they should put aside the emotional component and focus on the cost-benefit of settlement as opposed to the BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement). When we do this we may speed negotiations toward resolution but in many cases we only speed the case to impasse. “Getting to Yes” contends that every negotiator has two separate kinds of interests that must be addressed in the negotiation: 1) interest in the substance and 2) interest in the relationship. The point

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Back to the Basics

I have recently been reading a number of relatively new books with claims of a revolutionary new way to approach negotiation. Without exception and without naming names, each new source has been insightful and a new perspective on the negotiation process that every one of us is involved in every day. Almost without exception, however, each new source compares itself to the classic negotiation manual “Getting to Yes,” first published in 1981. I first read “Getting to Yes” 10-12 years ago after taking the mediator training course from Bob Beason & Rene Ellis (then part of the Duke Private Adjudication Center). I learned a lot from the book but since then it has sat on a bookshelf and then in a box in my basement. In order to fully appreciate the new material I will be reviewing here in the next few months, I thought it a good idea to

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Different Strokes

At one mediation I heard counsel accuse the plaintiffs of lying and engaging in “litigation lottery,” hoping for a big payoff. This mediation was over before it began. At another mediation, counsel for one party repeatedly accused the other party of lying under oath. That mediation resulted in a settlement favorable to the party making the accusation. So, what’s the difference? Should the opening session be conciliatory or adversarial? Like most answers to broad questions, it depends. In the first case, the accusing lawyer was addressing a large group of plaintiffs and attacking their integrity by impugning their motives. What he intended to demonstrate was that there was no factual or legal basis for their case but instead lost any chance of communicating by jumping to a jury argument that he could not possibly prove. In the second instance, the accusation was made through the juxtaposition of the opponent’s deposition

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Decision-Making in the Face of Uncertainty

It is the rare successful mediation that does not lead one party or both to wonder whether they could have gotten more or given up less. What makes mediated settlement conferences so interesting (and difficult) is the need to make important decisions in a confined period of time without knowing what the other side is willing to accept or give up in exchange for peace. If both sides came into the mediation and stated honestly their bottom line from the outset there would be little need for mediation. Obviously this never happens and in most cases I have been involved with the parties do not really know their bottom line themselves at the outset of mediation. How can anyone be expected to figure out the other side if they cannot figure out their own position. Do good negotiators have a natural ability to sense where they can take the other

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